15. Big game day stress, Real Wrassling, Erecting statues, Ninjas & Big gods

No one in the city seems to find a good seat to watch the World cup. Chris's son learns a terrible truth and Per hasn't slept (again). A mysterious statue is erected down south Sweden. Ninja people keep walking outside the skateshop and Per contemplates whether it is too late to become one. Also: what god is the biggest in size?

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:01

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Maximum Impact Show. Welcome back, guys. Pear has not slept. His face looks like hammered shit. He's been watching the World Cup all night. And Sweden tied Japan.

SPEAKER_04 0:19

Yes. Which is a good result. I thought we were gonna get us our asses kicked.

SPEAKER_05 0:25

Yeah. I didn't realize Japan was so good. You feel like a tie is like a very like humble, modest, actual victory in Swedish culture? No. You don't think that's very Yonda? I thought that was like not in sports. Oh, you you want victory.

SPEAKER_04 0:44

Yeah. Um but it's it's like it feels good to tie with Japan because it's like respectful. Yeah, civilized.

SPEAKER_05 0:57

I love them. Yeah. The fans, the players. Something about them. Yeah, dude. I get the showguns. You got any Japanese friends? Ah, I'd say like acquaintances from back in the day that I haven't seen in many years. Yeah. But they were cool. I was digging them. Um it's been a long time. Uh, but yeah, so you stayed out till about an hour ago.

SPEAKER_04 1:27

Something like that. No, it wasn't that bad actually, because I'm a grown person though. So I can like plan ahead and I uh know when it you know things are beginning to escalate. Uh huh. So I was uh in uh halftime. I actually biked home and I saw the rest um here. Oh man, pussed out. Yeah, but it was it was just like begin it was carnage at that place. Something happened.

SPEAKER_05 1:54

But you guys were losing, right? I talked to the guy at the store this morning. He said that like you guys tied very late. So it was like kind of a desperate the whole time, right?

SPEAKER_04 2:05

Not really, no. The guy at the store is wrong. I think we scored like uh ten minutes after they scored. And then we had kind of the upper hand because of the game. I I would like to say. Enough about sports. More about the people who are watching sports. Are there any updates? I mean I got a little field report. What do we got from last night? What I like. Because uh, you know me, I'm a little bit of a detective.

SPEAKER_05 2:43

Yeah, you fancy yourself a sleuth.

SPEAKER_04 2:45

Yeah. So, um I mean the story begins. It's really a long story about disappointment and thinking that you are, you know prepared for something. And yesterday, about eight o'clock. At night. Yeah, at night. What is this? PM 8 p.m. I'm clocking out of the store. Alright. Locking up, yeah, going towards the nearest bar. Like you do every day. Yeah. This is my routine.

SPEAKER_05 3:29

No, it's shit when your hands are shaky, it's telling you the keys.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

8 o'clock, that's when I have my beer. Like the shakes. I'm going to the bar. I'm meeting my friend, and we're like, okay, the game starts in five hours. Dude, that's a five hours from when you walk into the bar. Yeah. Five hours. We're gonna like you know, we have five hours to prepare to find a spot to see the game. And at the same time, I feel like everyone else is thinking the same thing. Like, we have plenty of time, it's okay. Um we'll find a spot. But uh the thing is that there are super fans out there. Yeah. And they must have been like you know, they must have been sitting at the bar since five, six.

SPEAKER_05 4:29

That's like a a full day of work until the game starts.

SPEAKER_04 4:32

Yeah. And then some other friends showed up. We could already see in their eyes that they were a bit disappointed. Cause they, you know, they had an idea where they wanted wanted to see the game. Yeah. Of course it was carnage, it was full. Yeah. Already. Like eight. It was like just bees everywhere, at least yellow shirts, just like so much money must have been made last night.

unknown 4:59

Crazy.

SPEAKER_04 5:01

We went somebody sent his girlfriend, no, he didn't send her, but she wanted to see the game at the Trevor on the under the bridge club.

SPEAKER_05 5:09

Yeah, they were doing like an outdoor indoor party kind of thing.

SPEAKER_04 5:12

She's like, Yeah, I'm going there because um Yeah, I wanna be on time. You know, I wanna I wanna be there early. Shows up there's a two-hour line.

SPEAKER_05 5:24

Dude, this is not for me.

SPEAKER_04 5:26

And this is like eight, eight o'clock.

SPEAKER_05 5:27

Not for me. Two hours, two hours to get in. They're gonna sell they must have sold so much fucking beer. Trillion beers last night. Broke the record.

SPEAKER_04 5:39

We um So she came back, like, yeah, that's not. Ah no, I don't know what happened to her. Maybe she stood in that line. Maybe she's still there. Probably still there. But um that was just intense because I could I could just see people's faces. It was the same kind of expression, like a little bit stressed five hours before the game. Yeah, the anxiety walking around, and I could see people returning from the direction that they, you know, went. Uh like, okay, but what now? What's the plan? What's plan D? Yeah, plan D is rough. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:10

Plan D is like cell phone in a pool hall.

SPEAKER_04 6:12

Yeah. That's how we all ended up. Yeah. Like, you know, just like reaching to see a little piece of screen. But I uh I was streaming the game at the same time with my uh with my phone. Okay. And I used the audio from my phone, and I synced it with the screen so I could at least like because there was not a lot of speakers around there.

SPEAKER_05 6:38

Do you guys normally have like sports bars for I don't understand like maybe just not big, big enough place, not many big places or whatever.

SPEAKER_04 6:47

But they are packed. Yeah. They are so full. They had to shut shut uh tragordin down last night. Fire hazard? They're just like, no, uh, it's full. Like nine o'clock, they're just like, yeah, go home. Like, we're not letting anyone in, no matter what.

SPEAKER_03 7:05

Yeah, because no one's gonna go there and leave. And I just like I can't even imagine being in a place like that.

SPEAKER_04 7:10

No, fuck that. I just lines for beers were 40 minutes last night.

SPEAKER_05 7:14

Between the lines for beer and pissing, it's like, dude, what's this is not my thing? It was evil. Yeah, I can't do it. You gotta have extra bars and like extra like mobile bathrooms.

SPEAKER_04 7:28

They uh they must have sold like beers for like a million.

SPEAKER_05 7:33

Paid the rent all for all summer.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

Yeah, it was it was crazy to see it.

SPEAKER_05 7:39

Well, so you guys are like this is gonna go on now. Did you like stay alive in the tournament?

SPEAKER_04 7:46

We have one more game. I think we're gonna we'll see how that goes. That's the 16th final.

SPEAKER_05 7:53

When does this is this like in three days or a week next weekend or something? I'm not sure actually. I haven't fucked dude. Yeah, you gotta have a better plan. You gotta just like rig a projection monitor like in your backyard or something.

SPEAKER_04 8:07

Like the entrepreneur in me was like maybe I should just fucking invest in an outdoor projector, buy like a van full of beer, and just set that up, you know?

SPEAKER_03 8:20

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 8:20

Dude, yeah. We could finance this whole show. Yeah. We could buy a new, you know, backdrop.

SPEAKER_03 8:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:27

Although I do like that. Maybe some nice clothes. No. Some show clothes.

unknown 8:32

Alright, maybe.

SPEAKER_04 8:33

It's not a bad idea. Sparkling suits. That would be good. That's where we invest. Sequin. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:41

Um, well, yeah, dude, I don't know. That sounds like trying to find the best party on New Year's Eve, and you just like it was uh hedging your bets all over town.

SPEAKER_04 8:51

And the thing is, everyone knows this. You know it deep down that it's not gonna work out, like being, you know, a little bit chill about it. Yeah, but everyone's so chill, anyways. Just a couple here, just a couple of briskies here, and then we're just gonna, you know, we'll find a spot.

SPEAKER_05 9:08

Because that's how it should be. Yeah. It's like you just kind of like roam around and pop in at any bar and the game's on, and there's a seat with a cold beer just waiting, and the bathroom doors like right there. No, that's not and not in a a capital city, not in my town. No. Um well.

SPEAKER_04 9:27

Actually, I feel a bit burnt out talking about this. But I thought that we can we do another one of those, you know, news anchor intros? Maybe. Because now it's not windy, but it's really hot all over Earth. Um We could, we could think of something. It's a catastrophe movie. Again. Um Do you wanna do it after?

SPEAKER_05 10:01

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_04 10:02

You wanna do it now? Yeah, let's do it now. Freestyle? Yeah, of course. That's that's the whole game. The game is to Okay. I feel like I gotta I can lead if you want.

SPEAKER_05 10:14

I gotta get my material together. You want me to lead? Sure. What I like like you're an anchor and I'm an anchor? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:21

Just like last time. Alright. Um fellow stockhomers. It is a good day, but it's not any day. It's also a very, very hot day. People are melting, but that's fine. Nothing to worry about. Put some water in a bottle and spray that shit all over your face. Cool down everyone.

SPEAKER_05 10:49

Chris. Uh I'm glad you mentioned the heat pair, because you could be in Paris where it's extra hot and gay. Uh everyone's disgusting, they have bad breath, and no one should live there. Uh, that's why we're thankful we're in Stockholm.

SPEAKER_04 11:04

Back to the studio. I mean, we are in the studio.

SPEAKER_05 11:07

Here we are.

SPEAKER_04 11:09

But back to the show. Yes. That's a good one. I don't think that that was very like. Because I last time I had this, I kinda didn't know what I was doing. Yeah, yeah. But now but now you know. This was like it's not we need like it needs to feel scary. And obviously, we don't know that shit is you know sweaty. Okay, I got another idea.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

I think I don't understand it.

SPEAKER_04 11:37

I need to find an example of this. Yeah, I think I'm like When was the last time you um saw like an uh catastrophe film?

SPEAKER_05 11:49

Probably a while now. I don't know. I mean I kinda get what you're saying. It's like, yeah, there's like uh you know, it's another nice day, blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_04 12:00

It's the same shit all like every every time. What was that movie with the ice tsunami? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I didn't watch that.

SPEAKER_05 12:11

I mean I kinda know, I guess I kinda know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_04 12:16

Umpact show. Something is happening in the weather, but we're not worried. We're just taking off our coats, we're using shorts, and we're um, you know, going outside. And that's fun, and we like that. We've been waiting for summer, and here it is. Chris.

SPEAKER_05 12:48

Everything is so regular and normal today, I don't even know what to bring to the table. It's just another day. Nice and mellow and warm.

SPEAKER_04 12:59

What do you use? What are you using, Chris? Tell us about oh what the thing is with news anchors, is like sometimes they just, you know, they like to have fun.

SPEAKER_08 13:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:09

They ask each other questions, you know, when in the midst of delivering something. Uh-huh. You're using shorts, Chris. You cut them off yourself? Yeah. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. Okay, last time. We can do this.

SPEAKER_05 13:26

Yeah, I mean it's a it's definitely like an improv thing.

SPEAKER_04 13:30

Um the sunny day in Stockholm, and people are sweating. Nothing to worry about, of course, because we have fans, we have um light clothing, and we have swimming booths. Chris.

SPEAKER_05 13:45

I like to swim.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

Just like a doof. Like I like to swim.

SPEAKER_05 13:54

I don't like, yeah, I can't like think of this. Because I'm like I like to swim. I can't think of uh well I've I've had a crisis yesterday at the uh the breakfast table. Oh I sat down, my my lady's been sick for days, so I've just been like getting up, making everyone breakfast, coming home, making dinner. And uh I've set up breakfast for my kid, and he sits down and practically starts bawling hysterically. That means crying, crying hysterically. He's bawling his eyes out, as they say. And I'm like, dude, what the fuck is going on? I didn't say fuck, but it was like all of a sudden, and I was just like, What's the deal? Like, and uh he's like, You you told me wrestling was real. Oh no, and I was like, What are you talking about, dude? And he said, Hulk Hogan's not real, and I'm like, Where are you getting this? He's like, Mom showed me.

SPEAKER_04 14:57

No, I was like, Why would you do that?

SPEAKER_05 15:01

I don't know what the fuck happens. They were both homesick, like the day before, I guess. And uh, there's like a Hulk Hogan Netflix doc. Oh no. So my son idolizes Hulk Hogan, and I think he's one of the more like shit. I idolized him when I was a kid. He's more like, as a character, very like wholesome, good versus evil, mostly until he turned into like a mark. Yeah, he's great, but I kind of always left like the uh authenticity like ambiguously not touched on because it's like a five-year-old, a six-year-old. And my lady just fucking pulled the curtain back and with like, and then suddenly I had to deal with like a crying kid who's like, You lied to me. Oh my god. Oh, it was horrible, dude. It was horrible. And I kind of had to give him the whole rundown. I was like, Do you think that when you saw Hulk Hogan body slam Andre the Giant that that was fake? And he was like, Well, I was like, was it fake? No, well, is it fake then? Like, kind of mind fucking son, what is real? Yeah, I had to literally take it to there, like, well, I couldn't really say, like, well, it depends on your definition of what's real. Yeah, but I had to like what like very strategically walk him back, yeah, and I and then he felt good. Yeah, but the look in his eyes was like he'd just been pulled out of the matrix, yeah. And that like, I was like, Are you gonna tell him Santa's not real in like next week or something? Like, what the fuck are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 16:38

Like that must make him question everything.

SPEAKER_05 16:41

It was tough, and I saw I saw him like like calculating it in his head, and I was just like, No, no, I gotta, I gotta shut this down immediately. But I was also like, I hadn't even had a coffee yet. I just got up and started making breakfast. He sits down and just blindsides me with it. Which I'm finding out that's exactly when they ask the most complicated shit. Fuck. Uh you you never have your charts ready and your script and your your all your ideas lined up coherently. But uh, I think we're getting through it now. Yeah. Um, but that was fucked, dude.

SPEAKER_04 17:16

I I felt pain. Do you remember when you figured it out? Uh or how was that?

SPEAKER_05 17:24

It was always like there was like this thing where like the sort of like intellectual people were like, it's so you guys are all stupid, it's fake. Yeah. Um, and I didn't want to believe it for years because like you're also literally, it is that thing where you're watching a guy throw another guy through the air, and you're like, Well, what's fake? Yeah, and then eventually you're like, Yeah, they're playing like I probably like 12 or something, 10, 11, 12. I kind of came out of it just mainly because of other stuff I was into. What happens then? Then something happened in in the 80s in American pro wrestling where it got way out of hand. There was like this huge movement to just be like, it's fake. You have to admit it's fake. It's almost illegal to say it's real.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

What do you think of the accusations that WWF wrestlers have just acted?

SPEAKER_08 18:15

Ooh. I thought you were gonna say singers. Well, World Wrestling Federation is real to the macho man Randy Savage because I do it 25 hours a day. I take it very, very, very seriously. But I allow everybody to have their own opinions. Everybody can have their own opinions, but you draw your own conclusions. But I'll guarantee you one thing there's only room at the top for one person at a time, and for no reason do I make anybody look good.

SPEAKER_05 18:51

So what they were forced to do was admit that it wasn't real.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Well, of course, Dana, it's fake, all right? Everybody knows that, but it's still the same. You're you're promoting the same thing we're promoting. Dana White is promoting fights. We're promoting fights. It just so happens that uh we get a little more longevity out of our fight and and and out of our fighters because uh of of of the circumstances. It it it is a staged arena, everybody knows that. And uh, if you can't turn WWE on Monday night and get something out of that show and be entertained, then then there's something wrong with you.

SPEAKER_05 19:29

And literally no one fucking cared. It they just got bigger. Yeah, it just makes it more fun. It was just like, so what? This is fucking badass.

SPEAKER_04 19:39

Was that when they kind of started like you know, overkilling the walk-ins? And like they had to make the show even more of a show.

SPEAKER_05 19:47

Well, that's where I sort of tuned out because I think I was like aging out of it, and uh it became like when I was watching it, it was like very basic building blocks of plots, you know, like this guy wronged you, you tried to steal his lady, and by the 90s it was like, you know, there's like plot lines about like fraud and adultery and like illegitimate children, like you know, like and the old guys had to become like the old good guys had to turn bad, and like there was tons more money, and the innocent, like golden days were kind of over, and it was this very like dark period, but I was already on to other things. Um, and that's probably when it became like insane. Like the walk-ins were like half of the match. Yeah. But uh no, I was too dumb by that. I didn't like that like that rhyme. I think right around when Trump was a wrestler. Was Trump a wrestler? Yeah, but he did he did. I mean, this is twenty-five years ago now, but like he had a he was like I think he had like a financial beef with his man. And then I think Dennis Rodman was part of the NWO with Savage and um Hulk Hogan when they all turned bad because they had to like milk a career for 10 more years, so they had to like flip their characters. They all dyed their beards black and then had like it was a full image change, and they were like the bad boys who stopped caring. And then Dennis Rodman was like playing for the Bulls and wrestling and going to North Korea for modeling and like commercial stuff. Yeah, it was just um that part was fun, but I was out of it.

SPEAKER_04 23:18

Yeah, he was hanging out with Kim Jung. Yeah, he was doing everything because he was a basketball fan.

SPEAKER_05 23:24

He probably I think he was like hanging out with Madonna. Yeah, I think he was like fucking Madonna and like wrestling and playing with Michael Jordan and hanging out with a North Korean dictator all like in six months, and like showing up places in a wedding dress. God honored crushing everything.

SPEAKER_04 23:42

You know, just doing what he wants.

SPEAKER_05 23:45

He's doing literally everything and it's all working. Madonna's like, sure, I'll fuck you. So uh yeah, it got very advanced by the time all that stuff was happening. But yeah, I've been going back with my kid and watching those old fights, and it's fucking Ultimate Warrior.

SPEAKER_04 24:05

Well, that's a crisis, all right. Yeah, but we got through it. We got through it. I'm happy.

SPEAKER_05 24:10

It's nothing like seeing a dream crushed, it's like stabbing Bambi in the heart. Yeah, you know, it's just like I panicked, but uh I I I I was good quick on my feet. Yeah. Um yeah, so he'll be okay. I think last night he even told me he still wants to be a professional wrestler. He's back on board. Because it's still just like getting to slam people. You still get to wrestle. So he's like, he's good with it now.

SPEAKER_04 24:46

Have you seen that South Park episode about wrestling?

SPEAKER_05 24:49

No, because there's so many fucking episodes now.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

Yeah, but it's like it's from 10 years ago. Yeah, and it's about like real wrestling, you know, like the spot, like Olympic style. Okay, they're turning gay. I think the boys, you know, our friends. Yeah, yeah. The gang in South Park, they start wrestling, doing like backyard wrestling, and then there's like a coach.

SPEAKER_08 25:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:15

Uh, who's like, that's not wrestling. Hell yeah. I'm doing real wrestling. And then it's like super homosexual, of course. Yeah, I mean it's just like it's an easy, yeah, it's like an easy joke to shove in. And they're like, that's not wrestling.

SPEAKER_09 25:31

Look, look, look! This is wrestling! This Mr.

SPEAKER_08 25:39

You better take your gay porn and walk right out of this bar.

SPEAKER_04 25:42

Um for a couple of months I was talking a lot with one of Sweden's biggest exports. Who's this? Umir Latifi. Really? He's from Malmoth. Like he's from the Using or the infamous It's a tough? Tough area, yeah. Uh I was working at the burger place, I I think I told you about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was a regular, he's just like walking in there, like, yeah, I want the burger and um just three patties, nothing else. Oh yeah. And he had like a special prize, and he was just like he liked me because I was from down south as well.

SPEAKER_05 26:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:22

So we were talking for a lot, and he was a very fun character.

SPEAKER_05 26:25

That was interesting.

SPEAKER_04 26:27

Um and he was like in hard training because he was kind of popping off.

SPEAKER_08 26:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:32

Um he had two dogs. One was called like Trim, I think. Trim? Yeah, like Trim. And the other one was like, I think killer or something like that. Yeah. Just big, you know, pipples with like spiked necklaces.

SPEAKER_05 26:48

That's like when they named those dogs like Sweetie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:51

But they looked like a Tom and Jerry dog. No shit. Yeah, it looked just like those dogs. Um, like a big fucking monster. Yeah. And him just walking, like he's wider than he's tall. Yes. And just like all the time, just like there's some interesting things.

SPEAKER_05 27:10

So much like uh physical the whole time. But there's some interesting. I mean, we talked about it before, but like there's like a whole different mindset with people that can handle themselves. Like they're just moving amongst regular people, and there's like yeah, they're just like, I don't really get nothing's gonna I can be myself, like no one's gonna like I can handle anything, you know. Yeah. Um I should have been thrown in the dojo when I was 10. My parents should have to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_04 27:35

You could have been an insane violent athlete.

SPEAKER_05 27:41

Now I'm just like a black belt in YouTube combat. Yeah. I'm an expert in videos of combat. Yeah, exactly. You but you're living through the I'm like very theoretical.

SPEAKER_04 27:56

You can think of yourself winning each battle.

SPEAKER_05 28:00

I can see the chessboard. Yeah. But uh yeah, it's something I wish I got into. It's always that shit you wish you'd started way earlier.

SPEAKER_04 28:12

I had some ninjas walking by the shop really yesterday. There's like an Akido Like a Stephen Segal kind of combat? Something they have sticks and swords.

SPEAKER_05 28:25

That's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_04 28:26

I wonder if it's ninjutsu.

SPEAKER_05 28:28

Like actual ninja.

SPEAKER_04 28:30

Yeah. Have you heard about the the ninjutsu um training of it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 28:37

I used to buy all those magazines when I was a kid.

SPEAKER_04 28:39

I was looking into it because that's like a whole they have both the physical and they have also have theory. Yeah. Which is like very philosophical. Yeah, yeah. And it's like a big Bible almost. Oh, cool. Of like the knowledge of ninja, the theory, yeah, like the loft of the calm and like the respect.

SPEAKER_05 28:56

I think it's called Way of the Ninja. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04 29:00

On the book. But somebody told me, I don't know if this is true, but I think one of my friends just, you know, he was like, I'm gonna become a ninja. Fuck yeah! Like I'm I will become a ninja, and it's you know, it's like a long fucking way to do the ultimate tests. I would imagine. It's not something to be taken lightly, and the the final test before you get your like actually like the title or the black belt or whatever is that you know legitimizes you as a ninja. Do you have to fight Sensei? You have to fight all your teachers. Fuck yeah, like in the woods. Hell yeah. You know, they take you out and then they kind of surprise you from trees and stuff. Dude, it's like the 80s movies. Yeah, they just like, oh, now it's a river fight, like in water. Yeah. And then it's like up in the trees or something, and then that's so sick, like on real terrain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And obviously, like, you know, there's like a fist, like a test as well, like throwing an essay or something.

SPEAKER_05 29:55

Oh, like to make sure you're not a fucking idiot.

SPEAKER_04 29:57

Yeah, yeah. Like that's sick, dude.

SPEAKER_05 30:00

You have the knowledge. Yeah, that's good. You have the strength. You need a ninja friend.

SPEAKER_04 30:04

Yeah, is he still doing it? I'm gonna ask. No, no, that was year, it was we were kids, but maybe I should ask the ninjas.

SPEAKER_05 30:11

So I got a friend who's who started Kung Fu probably four years ago. He's like probably 51 now. And the last year he's been doing the weapons. Like he's worked his way into where they're like, all right, you can we can hand you like a sword. And he sends me videos, and he's still like considered a you know rookie in the big thing, but I'm just like watching my friend handle like poles with like spear shits with like dangly flower things coming off, and like swords, and I think that would be pretty cool. But everyone in America did karate for like from like age eight to ten in the eighties. Yeah, I was into it, and then I think my mom we moved or something, and I couldn't go, but I would always buy those magazines like Ninja Ninja Monthly and like Martial Arts Express and like karate week. Like, dude, the magazine karate week, the magazine rack in the American grocery store in the 80s just had insane shit. It was just like white dudes with mustaches, just like, oh fucking, or you know, like kicking a piece of wood, or like, can they just be like a ninja, like you know, like and like smoke pond? It was huge, dude. Every kid had these magazines, everything was like karate for two years, and all the movies like Last American Ninja starring Michael Dudakoff, Ultimate Ninja Warrior. Yeah, but that all came in like the nine late 90s, I think, with like American Gladiators and stuff like that. That and that looks pretty cool. It looks pretty it's like a physical chapter. What is it called?

SPEAKER_04 31:52

American Ninja Warrior, or is it Ultimate Ninja Warrior?

SPEAKER_05 31:55

I think it's ultimate because I feel like it it got imported, yeah. But uh that shit looks cool. Um karate weed, dude. Well, we'll find the magazine coverage because they're like you want to hug these things when you see them, they're so badass, and every it's always like a white guy with like a porno facial hair thing, yeah. And uh just very 80s, and they it was big fucking business. You could buy like anything out of those magazines, like nunchucks, fucking weird Chinese throwing stars. Smoke bombs were big. Smoke bombs are really modern ninja. Always had smoke smoke bombs. You just throw it down and just disappear into the wind.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

Imagine doing that, like getting mugged 2026. Oh, just go ninja. Hey, give me your money, and like I mean, this is smoke bombs.

SPEAKER_05 32:45

This is the fucking plot of American Last American Ninja. He's just in a there's a scene where we used to like refer to it all the time in my 20s when you were like Irish goodbye from a bar. You would just like he's just got he's surrounded, he's like, Oh, and he like pulls a smoke bomb, boom, and everyone's like, oh, and all the ninjas are surrounding him, and they can't find him, and he's just gone. Like nine dudes can't find him.

SPEAKER_04 33:12

So I think usually just like three, you know, three meters behind him, behind the dumb stroke.

SPEAKER_05 33:17

He's like very literally tiptoeing in slow motion. No, dude, ninja lifestyle. That would be so cool.

SPEAKER_04 33:26

I need to talk to him next time. Yeah. Because they walk in like troop, and they have their suits, they're the like the black, you know, thingies.

SPEAKER_05 33:35

Dude, is this what they're teaching near the store? Yeah, you just gotta go in there.

SPEAKER_04 33:39

Be like, look, give me a rundown. Give me a check. One guy was holding a sword. You know, like this kind of in the blade. Like he was kind of the leader, I think. He was walking up front. No, not like that. He just held the blade. Uh or like in the case, but it was like it was you know, carrying it like a knight almost.

SPEAKER_05 33:59

I bet you like, yeah, do they have to like sleep on spikes and stuff and like I don't know, stand on blades?

SPEAKER_04 34:06

It looks so fucking cool.

SPEAKER_05 34:08

I bet you they can like he can flip.

SPEAKER_04 34:09

And I mean the characters are you know, they're not aggressive people, they're nerds.

SPEAKER_05 34:15

Yeah, I mean, I would think like modern ninjutsu guys are are pretty close to those like superhero cats we were talking about, where they're just like, I'm different. But uh that would be impressive to see like a a real guy or girl that knows the art, the way of the ninja. You think we can find an interview with a ninja? I would feel like they don't snitch. I feel like they're not talking. They talk with their fists, they're more of like uh action-oriented. But I bet you you could get a video of a dude talking about ninjas very passionately. Um we'll have to clip in the scene from Last American Ninja where Michael Dudakoff throws the smoke bomb. That's that's crucial, crucial. Um but in the 80s, a lot of people were just like, yeah, so our plots are just gonna be like we have ninjas roaming around California. Like it was like suddenly it was like a normal idea. Like uh a bad guy would hire like a troop of ninjas to like shake down like dudes that owed him money.

SPEAKER_04 35:37

Let's see here.

SPEAKER_05 35:38

What do you got?

SPEAKER_04 35:42

Ninja Man. I remember him. Oh yeah, he's that's the 23 baby. Real bad man. That's not the ninja.

SPEAKER_05 35:50

No, you need uh let me do this. You're in like the you need like real like ninjutsu stuff. Nin real ninja. This guy's got green hair, this other guy's got red hair, not like natural.

SPEAKER_03 36:06

Maybe like real Japanese ninja. Authentic ninja. Okay, this one's a little bit more.

SPEAKER_05 36:11

Asian boss, hit play. So sick. I might have to pass my trade down shots.

SPEAKER_04 36:49

Wow. Dude, I want to do this. It's so peaceful as well. Oh my god. Oh hell yeah. See the throne stars? They're real. Powerful. It's so cool. Wait, how long is this? Like it's like 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_05 37:34

Slide like halfway. We'll just see like maybe he's like they'll show him like out on a job.

SPEAKER_03 37:41

What minute is this on now? Today.

SPEAKER_10 37:53

Who inspired you to become a kid? Yeah, that's you want to know shit.

SPEAKER_04 38:25

That's the thing, that that's the same with the people doing this now. They're quiet.

SPEAKER_13 38:33

Wait, slide forward tomorrow to see if you can get it.

SPEAKER_05 38:38

I want him like out on a mission. You think they ta do a taggle, like a drive-along, a ride-along? Maybe he like fights her. How far are we here? 116. Okay, so he's got the katana hair katana. That's the right. Oh, okay, do it. He's got ninja teeth.

SPEAKER_04 39:13

Yeah. But he like sharpened his stars with them.

SPEAKER_10 39:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 39:51

Is that like a move? Why would he need to do that? In case he's like tied up or he's gotta when you put it get put they put him in a straitjacket. Like a lethal weapon. Yeah. He's gotta pop his shoulder out and then he gets out.

SPEAKER_04 40:12

He is a strange little kid, this guy. Practicing dislocating his shoulders.

SPEAKER_05 40:16

It's like you gotta prepare, it's called the straitjacket attack. So you have to be put in a straitjacket and then you can attack from that position. Yeah. Well, this guy's fun.

SPEAKER_04 40:28

I mean, I feel like I'm not done with ninjas at all. I'm gonna come back to this.

SPEAKER_05 40:35

No, I don't think it's something you ever let go of. Yeah. You can't quit that stuff, that interest.

SPEAKER_04 40:44

Well, I guess MJ is uncancelled. Which MJ? Michael Jackson.

SPEAKER_05 40:53

Oh yeah, would some more stuff come out?

SPEAKER_04 40:57

No, but somehow somebody just raised a statue.

unknown 41:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 41:06

That's cool. In um a town not so far from my hometown.

SPEAKER_05 41:12

Really?

SPEAKER_04 41:12

Yeah. I mean, first the movie and now this.

SPEAKER_05 41:33

What is there like a special interest in your neighborhood of Michael Jackson?

SPEAKER_04 41:40

Oh, there's a big giant statue of Michael Jackson now in the in that town.

SPEAKER_05 41:50

I'm a robot driver.

SPEAKER_04 41:58

See how big that is? Is it a private? It sounds like that.

SPEAKER_05 42:03

Like a owner, like a private owner? Or is it like a public?

SPEAKER_04 42:07

Oh well, we don't know yet. I guess we will find out.

SPEAKER_05 42:10

Oh, they gotta go to the next video. That's fucking huge. No, there's gotta be a bit more info. See how big that is? Yeah, it's like three stories high. That's an obscure thing for these days to say, hey, we're doing this. Michael Jackson.

SPEAKER_04 42:32

At ten meter high, tall, Michael Jackson's statue ended up at George Bouzatou's in Engelholm. A dream he's been carrying since 1995.

SPEAKER_05 42:44

So sick.

SPEAKER_04 42:46

The statue raises questions because the artists are still talked about. But George says that he wants to think of the music and the positive that Jackson has meant.

SPEAKER_05 42:59

So that's almost 33 feet high, just for Americans. That's a huge statue. What a fan. What a diehard. It's 2.5 tons. That must have been expensive. Where do you get it from? And it's sort of like the peak Michael Jackson, right? Like where he's mature, but he's not like frail and strange looking.

SPEAKER_04 43:20

It's a remain of the from the 90s when Sony Music had had let build, I guess, 10 identical statues to market Michael Jackson's album history passion.

SPEAKER_05 43:31

So he tracked it down and got it shipped to his house. What a fucking string.

SPEAKER_04 43:35

Private person bought it. It's in a storage right now. Secret storage.

SPEAKER_11 43:42

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 43:44

And he wants to ride like he wants to erect it. And have it you know, you can visit it.

SPEAKER_05 43:53

That's wonderful.

SPEAKER_04 43:55

Who would you raise a statue of? You can't say Hulk Holland.

SPEAKER_05 44:00

Barring Hulk Hogan. I don't know. I mean, I I feel like Lemmy would be a good one if you could if you did like a peak Lemmy. But you know, not the one at Rainbow they did. Well, then I would just like raise a statue of my uncle. That's I mean, like anything that's kind of interesting, you'd be like, well, then people are gonna be attracted to it, and then you gotta deal with people.

SPEAKER_04 44:26

But you could still like pick a better crowd than Lemmy fans, no offense. Um because it's like it's like uh Cliff Burton's grave. You know how much stupid people shows up there, just like fuck yeah, heavy metal.

SPEAKER_05 44:39

Yeah, you'd have to do something that would just be like obscure, and then you'd be like, it would be like an inside joke.

SPEAKER_04 44:46

What about like of um they raised a big statue of um Pinocchio in Boros on the West Coast?

SPEAKER_05 44:54

I don't think that would be my first choice. No, I feel like I feel like that would be strange.

SPEAKER_04 45:00

And actually everyone's just questioning that um statue. They're like, why Pinocchio? That would be stranger to me than Michael Jackson. Yeah. I guess stranger people as well showing up there.

SPEAKER_05 45:13

Disney you get like weird adult Disney fans that are like kind of borderline, and you're like, ah, well, kids, let's go over this. Let's cross the street.

SPEAKER_04 45:20

He's a real boy.

SPEAKER_05 45:21

Yeah, it's like let's cross the street guy. Like we're not gonna go down that.

SPEAKER_03 45:25

We're careful, the real boy. Yeah, like I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 45:29

The Pinocchio thing is strange. Because there's like you ever see those videos where they're like breaking down all the things in the Pinocchio movie. This could be interpreted. It feels very dark.

SPEAKER_04 45:40

Slightly satanic.

SPEAKER_05 45:42

Yeah, they take it like the dude sings a song about boys getting taken to an island to become like changed.

SPEAKER_04 45:48

Yeah. Um, it is queer.

SPEAKER_05 45:50

It would it's a weird one if you're gonna pick like fairy tales, which are generally all fucked up, kind of. They they they're there to like instill a fear. Yeah. Um, but the Pinocchio one that raises questions about the uh guys running the show over there. Yeah. Doesn't Gothenburg?

SPEAKER_04 46:09

It's uh outside of Gothenburg and uh and nothing.

SPEAKER_05 46:13

You could have picked a like a few of the like in the most boring vote.

SPEAKER_04 46:17

They voted this town the most boring town in Sweden. That's what they're like, let's be crazy. Yeah, yeah, something like that.

SPEAKER_05 46:23

Pick the fucking the kitty porn.

SPEAKER_04 46:26

Yeah, let's raise the pedophile statue. Yeah, like just like let's get them let's get them talking about it. At least they will have fun.

SPEAKER_05 46:34

Yeah, we'll get the internet, you know, sparked up about our town with questions of pedophilia. I would raise a statue of I mean statues are meant to draw crowds. Are they? I traditionally, yes.

SPEAKER_04 46:54

I mean the the Easter Island statues, they're not like tourist tracks.

SPEAKER_05 46:59

Well you can't drive up to that and pop out of it with the with the van? Yeah. With a bus. You can't you can't take a bus tour to Easter Island, but I think if they were like on the mainland, people would be all over it. True. Um, but that's cool because that's sort of like an unknown character. But what would look cool? Tell you what, colossus. Some sort of Roman Greek like giant thing, you know, that's like 50 stories high.

SPEAKER_03 47:32

Like the one-eyed guy.

SPEAKER_05 47:34

Uh Cyclops. Yeah. A giant cyclops. That would just be ops in my backyard. Like jacked. Yeah. Like, oh, like drooling. Pointing.

SPEAKER_02 47:45

Pointing down.

SPEAKER_05 47:47

Dude. Yeah. That's cool. That would be good. I think we're we're getting into like uh what would be a great piece of merch.

SPEAKER_04 47:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 47:56

Some sort of fucking cyclops statue.

SPEAKER_04 47:59

Pointing.

SPEAKER_05 48:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:00

Like uh I want you.

SPEAKER_05 48:03

Yeah. Would they have like a club or like a big hammer?

SPEAKER_04 48:09

It's just like a person on the other hand. Yeah. Like half almost.

SPEAKER_05 48:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like holding a person is like ah. And then just like pointing and like making a mean eye. Yeah. To figure out how to make with the brown. Yeah, I think um that would be cool. Yeah. A great like backyard for the grotto. You know, like maybe like, you know, something you cook some burgers next to, play some frisbee.

SPEAKER_04 48:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:43

Or maybe croquet.

SPEAKER_04 48:45

That's so cool. Cyclops, I think that's that's like that's a really, really good contender for the best statue.

SPEAKER_05 48:53

Yeah, I think you know, without having to be like, what's your favorite person ever? You could just be like, dude, put a cyclops back there. Yeah. Here's 50,000 bucks. He's a cool monster. I do I don't know, like one of the classics. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I should I probably used to know this, but like, was he it was he there was one like Homer's Odyssey or something, but like I can't remember if they're like sort of good or bad or Odysseus. Yeah, but I can't remember if there is like a good natured, bad natured, chaotic, neutral kind of thing. I think it was just like a monster.

SPEAKER_04 49:29

Just doing just be a normal. In Greek mythology, they were just like monsters. Yeah, but no lore around them. They were just like unhappy.

SPEAKER_05 49:39

Can you zip that in there real quick? I I gotta know this. Where the original uh in in mythology are cyclopses evil or good, maybe. I could say that again. In Greek mythology.

unknown 49:54

Right.

SPEAKER_05 49:55

Dude, you get a lot of um in Greek mythology are cyclopses good or evil?

SPEAKER_04 50:07

That did not work out.

SPEAKER_05 50:08

What did it say like?

SPEAKER_04 50:17

In penisology Greek mythology Cyclops. Good or evil.

SPEAKER_05 50:32

And then I like the term chaotic neutral.

SPEAKER_04 50:35

In some stories, this the cyclopses are sort of a wild force, but not necessarily bad or good.

SPEAKER_05 50:42

Chaotic neutral.

SPEAKER_04 50:44

In very old myths, the cyclopses are the sons of the sky god and earth goddess. Cyclopses were known for being very strong.

SPEAKER_05 50:53

Yeah, big big fellas.

SPEAKER_04 50:56

Why is the Cyclops viewed as an evil monster in the Odyssey?

SPEAKER_05 50:59

Dude, I can't remember that. It's been twenty-five years since I read that book. What are they saying?

SPEAKER_04 51:04

The Cyclops is an embodiment of all things Greeks hate. He cannot talk properly. He is impish impious. Impious. Impous.

SPEAKER_05 51:14

So he's a sinner or something.

SPEAKER_04 51:16

And does not fear the gods. He's unmannered.

SPEAKER_05 51:18

Oh, he's like a barbarian. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:21

He's not civilized at all. No. Just a big fella pointing to what he wants to destroy.

SPEAKER_05 51:28

That's the that's the statue.

SPEAKER_04 51:29

Yeah. 100%.

SPEAKER_05 51:31

Um really make a statement to the neighbors with that.

SPEAKER_04 51:35

It is something about statues in Greek in Greece.

SPEAKER_05 51:40

Pretty cool.

SPEAKER_04 51:41

I went to there's um I've been uh quite a lot around to the to the Greek islands. Yeah. As a child. My parents um we used to go there in the summers. We went to the island of where Pythagora is from. You know this guy?

SPEAKER_05 52:01

The with the triangle man? Yeah. Yeah, Pythagorean theorem. Theory. Yeah. Which is a theory, I guess? But it's like the way the triangle angles work, right?

SPEAKER_04 52:10

Yeah. Yeah, a statue of him.

SPEAKER_05 52:14

I don't imagine him. What did he look like? I would imagine just a guy. Just a dude.

SPEAKER_04 52:19

But it's like it's just it feels cool to see all those like very ancient characters. Oh, yeah. Like it's so much more fun than like seeing a king. There's so many kings around here, the statues.

SPEAKER_05 52:34

Yeah, because they would celebrate intellects. Yeah. Like they would celebrate your man, Pythagorean, Pythagoras, or whatever, or like philosophers or there's a big one of Poseidon as well.

SPEAKER_04 52:48

Oh on one of the islands. That's really bad. It's it's big. That's cool. Like it's one, you know, you're just like, Jesus. That's cool. This is is this the real size? Yeah. Is this his actual size? Yeah, that's I think scientifically. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 53:02

I don't know how big the gods were really. Um they never, I don't think they actually measured them. But I I have I'm really like hazy. I did study like Greek mythology, but it was like in school, and I've never used that information again. But I'm getting back into Roman history. The algorithms are just like shoving it towards me. Biggest god.

SPEAKER_04 53:28

In Greek. In Greek. You know, all of all time. The largest gods and creatures in mythology.

SPEAKER_05 53:38

Who do we got?

SPEAKER_04 53:39

Oh, Mount Everest?

SPEAKER_06 53:42

That's big. That was like a Hindu monkey god or something. But who truly stands as the biggest of them all? This week, we're comparing the colossal deity to the city. Just fucking show me the list. In Sri Lanka, it's known as the Ath Kadalini. That's cool. A colossal bird famous for hunting elephants and soaring high enough to cast shadows as vast as clouds. This mythological creature is roughly said to have a wingspan of 1300 feet. That's all right, making it truly immense.

SPEAKER_05 54:24

I mean, it's a couple Michael Jacksons. Exactly number 13. Oh. Jack Sparrow. Oh Johnny Depp.

SPEAKER_06 54:45

Some accounts claim it could be as large as a small island, or even a mile across. I'm down with that. Yeah. With sources suggesting it could reach a staggering 1400 feet.

SPEAKER_04 54:56

I heard it was way bigger than that.

unknown 54:59

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 54:59

Destined to break. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 55:03

That dude was telling you. He's described the ninja large with his jaw.

SPEAKER_02 55:11

You know the Kraken is really, really, really big.

SPEAKER_06 55:20

And then we're going to be able to do that. Ragnarok is a Fenric. That was Fenrich. That means Fenrich could be around 50 kilometers. Oh, that's the name Fenric. At the event of Ragnarok. Whoa, he's big. His blood became the sea. Some interpretations suggest he was proportionally large enough that his skull formed the sky. Oh. Potentially making him at least. He looks a little sloppy.

SPEAKER_04 55:47

He's the guy who's our Earth. Scandi Earth.

unknown 55:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:53

Gaia in the world. Then there's like Terra's quite literally the personification and embodiment of the planet. Gaia. Oh shit. She is the foundation. Why don't you guys invite me to your game? Making her a living, conscious planet. As the Earth itself, I want garage beers, too. So much bigger than 5 kilometers tall. Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 56:19

Number nine. Wait, there's nine beings bigger than her? The world turtle.

SPEAKER_06 56:35

Flat Earth who, in turn, stand on the turtle's shell. This foundational creature is a very good thing.

SPEAKER_04 56:46

Making it at least. Who's the green?

SPEAKER_05 56:58

They're gonna be big.

SPEAKER_04 57:01

93 billion light years in diameter. Who's this motherfucker? Sun Wu Kong can expand to an entire Okay.

SPEAKER_05 57:12

He's the most ninja of the guys. Number two.

SPEAKER_06 57:19

Wait, there's one bigger than him? The great Sun Buddha. Buddha's fat ass. In the Chinese novel Journey to the West, the Buddha, specifically Rulai Buddha, demonstrates his unimaginable scale. He famously tests Sun Wukong, who believes he has reached the edge of the universe. Only for the Buddha to reveal that Wukong never left his palm. This iconic feat demonstrates that the Buddha's hand is vast enough to encompass an entire universe, making him a truly boundless entity.

SPEAKER_04 58:20

Can you imagine him being that big and listening to like please Vishnu?

SPEAKER_02 58:25

Can you please 14? I'm very, very tired of it. I wish for more gasoline. Fort Might Mobard. Please, sir.

SPEAKER_05 58:47

Vishnu, the god of Fedora.

SPEAKER_04 58:51

I was not talking about Fedora. I was talking about a humble little, you know, worker somewhere in Mumbai or something.

SPEAKER_05 58:57

Yeah. Just hoping.

SPEAKER_04 58:59

Wow, that was a ride, but now we gotta go skate.

SPEAKER_05 59:02

That was a ride, and this means we need to go skateboard. Yeah. This is our one beach day of the summer, and we're using it on blacktop.

SPEAKER_04 59:10

To sum this up, it was um not the most intelligent episode. I feel like it was great. It was very intelligent. Spoke about sports, alcohol, ninjas, wrestling, wrestling, Greek mythology, the classics.

SPEAKER_05 59:26

Greek mythology. The founders of uh mathematical, you know, physics and angular uh equations. Yeah, dude, we covered ground. We did a bunch of kooky spider god things. Yeah, and basically the your average smoke out session. This was very stoned. We cast a broad net.

SPEAKER_04 59:48

Um what else? Go get some merch, guys. So you bought um Shibapi Shib Chi.

SPEAKER_05 59:55

The Balkan gears flying off this ship.

SPEAKER_04 59:57

The Balkans showed up.

SPEAKER_05 59:58

The printers are getting they're getting sweaty in their shop.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:02

Who's gonna be our biggest supporter, guys?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:04

Apparently the Balkans are just the Balkans?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:06

Are you winning over the Americans right now? It's pathetic.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:09

Yeah, the Americans gotta dough up. But we need to, I think we need to cater towards back towards them boys because they're looking at uh Balkan gear.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:17

Like, what the fuck is maybe we should just like strap uh American you know bandana on the um uh one-eyed guy, the Cyclops. That'd be pretty sick.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:28

We'll finalize the design, but I think we're heading in the right direction. Um and don't forget, slide on over to Chow Na. Chow Naw Restaurant, lovely place. Our big sponsor, the biggest, big baller over there, for now.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:43

So uh if you want to put your logo on the window, just slide in our DMs. Yes. Uh let's go skate. Okay.